Million Thoughts

Howdy Y'all

I am sitting here with the house to myself with a million things running through my mind. I have a friend with guy problems, my ex wife wont help on the kid weekend problem, my books that I am writing, job, and what ever pops into my head. I know this is life. Yes I know the quote "things happen for a reason" but sometimes its hard to think that way. My last blog "Lost in this world" I feel that way sometimes. I feel I have no direction and sometimes I feel I cant have happiness. I do know that the last 4+ months I have been happier than I have been in years. Yes things do happen for a reason with or without our control. Sometimes we feel loved and sometimes we don't but that is life. A lot of times there is silence in your relationship, maybe you don't have anything to say, and maybe you don't know how to say it. Open communication is a good thing. If its bad news then its out in the open and the 2 of you can work on it. Feelings maybe hurt and someone may get upset, but bringing it out in the open is a start. To start rebuilding you have to talk about the problem.

I have been in relationships in my past that problems were kept locked away, and later down the road it surfaced and things were worse by this time. When problems are kept hidden and locked away they fester up and get worse. then when they do come out they are harder to heal and sometimes never heal and never get worked out. when this happens "stick a fork in it because it's done". The only thing left is the crying. It's been said there is no one worth crying over but I have to differ from that. Because if you can't cry over someone, then I feel you really didn't LOVE that person. Because if you love them you will miss the good times you had and yes they are in the past, but they are also in your memories, dreams and you and them will cross paths someday. It could be at the store, the park, on vacation, or any where. Do you want to see this person and think of all the wrongs that have happened between the 2 of you, or do you want to think of the good times you had together. Sometimes the bad out weighs the good and you can't get past that. Then if you brought the problem out and you tried to work on things all you can say is "I tried".And go on.

Honesty is the best way to be with someone. A lot of times it's hard because you don't want to hurt that person. That is noble of you to think that way to save their feelings, but how does that make you feel. Knowing that you lied to someone that you care about or even love. That too will kill a relationship in the long run. Now that you lied to this person and they know you are hurt and they are upset, hurt, and confused. That could be a bad thing because the trust is gone now and where does that leave you? Nowhere but feeling terrible because you lied, lost their trust, and hurt someone very bad. But you are the only one to blame because you lied. Not telling someone what the problem is when they ask whats wrong is also lying to them. If there is a problem and they ask then set down and discuss it and see if you can compromise on the solution to fix it.

Now here is something that I hear about all the time. It happens in most of the "chick flix" someone from the past comes back into ones life. That sometimes can create a problem if the person that you are in a relationship with doesn't find out about the contact. If its an old friend is one thing, but if it's an old flame or a person you had a crush on. A problem could arise and the match needs to be extinguished before a huge fire starts. that could make things heated at home. If this happens it could be disastrous to a relationship if all parties involved are not on the same page. The person you are in the relationship with may need reassuring that you love them and that you do show signs of you loving them. Take it from me some of us have experienced this before in past relationships and know the signs of it.

1) is your partner being distant
2) being secretive when you walk into the room or hanging up when you walk in the room
3) being very defensive (that is a sign of feeling guilty)
4) when you ask a question about that person they either hesitate or answer abruptly before the question is finished
5) do they keep bring up things that they and the other person have in common

These are a few signs, but don't just go by these there are other possibilities that can lead to some of actions. Another way is to learn their facial expressions a look can answer more questions before you ask them. These are not scientific signs they are just things that I have learned over the years.

In a relationship it takes blood, sweat,and tears to make it work as long as you 2 share that together. If you two work together it then it is all worth it because you are building a life together. Because if the 2 of you decided to get into a relationship then you both saw something that each of you needed and wanted. You both care or cared about each other to give the relationship a chance to blossom and grow. Then the next step is you get engaged, it could be soon after you 2 start the relationship or it could be years into it. Either way you loved this person enough to say that you want to marry them. If you get engaged early people say it's too soon. If you Wait for years then they tell you it,s about time. it's your choice to get engaged because you both wanted it at the same time. Then is the wedding you can hurry to get married or you can wait, that to is your choice and no one else can make that decision but you and the person you said you would marry. when you finally decide on the wedding date then you will hear from people why did you make it that day. So no matter what you do people will criticise what you do. So don't listen to other people about your choices, you made them and thats what you wanted when you did it. After you made your choice, dont second guess what you decided when you hear someone critcise your decision. Because they don't know your feelings, or your heart. And don't be afraid to voice your opinion back to them because they voiced their opinion to you. When you do this don't spare their feelings remember they didn't spare yours when they criticised you.
Just remember this the Wedding is 1 day out of your life and the marriage is 1 day to be shared for the rest of your life. EVERYDAY to be shared with the 1 you fell in love with.

So have a good evening
This was just some of the million things running through my head tonight, if it helps I am happy I could help, if it didn't help I am sorry I couldn't help.
This does not pertain to anyone i general it was just my thoughts

Till next time
As the Cowboy rides off into the sunset
Good Night Y'all

From the outside looking in

When you start in a relationship with someone you get all kinds of advise from friends and family. Sometimes its good and sometimes it's not so good. Everybody thinks they know you better than yourself and they know you but you know your feelings better than anyone.



Your family and your friends tell you to slow down. Don't rush in, you are gonna get hurt. Sometimes we do rush into things. And sometimes we do get hurt. When we get hurt we feel devastated,but we bounce back and it makes us stronger in our next relationship.



All everyone else can see is what happen the last time and they cant see what is actually going on between the 2 of you. They don't see you 2 alone and the way you make each other smile.



My best friend lives in Oklahoma he has been there for me in my hard times. he helped me through my divorce and through when I had a girl friend that used me to get back with her ex-husband he knows me better than anybody. I know him the same way. When he got with his girlfriend I asked him a question that we ask each other every time we get in a relationship with someone: If all you know about her now is all you ever know about her is that enough for you to fall in love with her and spend the rest of your life with her, and marry her? If we hesitate with the answer then the other one asks are you sure she is what you want or are you settling? When I asked him that question 2 years ago when he was with a girl he has known since grade school. He went silent for just a second or 2 then he said he didn't know. Then a year ago I asked him again with the woman he is with now. He answered YES before I even finished the question.



He is in love with her I can tell when we talk on the phone when I ask about her. The tone in his voice changes. It makes me happy that he has found someone to make him so happy.





Back to the story.

When I got with my girlfriend I caught a lot of flack from my family about moving too fast. But they don't they don't see the way she makes me feel when we are together. I can tell she feels the same way when she sees me after a small time apart. She has a smile from ear to ear,just like I do. When we are together I can see 40 years in the future. What I mean by that is that lil old couple in the mall walking hand in hand, and him standing there in a store holding her purse while she tries on clothes. the look that he has in his eyes when she comes out of the dressing room. The look I am talking about is that he is so in love with her, more than when they were just married more than that morning. He falls more in love with her every minute of every day.



Just remember 1 thing the only person that knows your feelings, is you. Your friends and family are just trying to keep you from getting hurt, because they love and care about you. They don't want to see you hurt. Just be careful and know your own feelings. You and her are the only ones that know what you 2 want. The 2 of you are feeling the same way about this beautiful life you 2 are sharing with each other. Dont be afraid to share your feeling with the person you are with.