Wednesday, August 26, 2009

"Letting Go"

Howdy Y’all
I am back with another thought in my mind. This is something that came to me earlier today, I thought I would write it out to see where it leads.
We all have heard or used the term “letting go”. There are a millions of meanings for this term. Some are hard to do, some are easy to do, and some are a good thing. Letting go is a very scary thing to do, for all of us. The scary part of that is not knowing what is going to happen, when you let go. When you are letting go you have a million things run through your mind.
Letting go can be hard, but we have to know what we are letting go of. What are we going to let go of, is it physically letting go of something, like are we hanging off the side of a cliff. If we let go we have no idea what is going to happen, will we live after the fall or will we perish in a cloud of dust. We don’t know and there is the fear of letting go and not knowing the out come.. It is the uncertainty of the whole thing. We can be a parent whose child is leaving for the first time and that scares us to death. We want the best for them and we want to help them in there lives, but they need to be on their own, to make their own choices. They will make mistakes, and learn from them. They will do great things and we will be proud of them. Just remember we have to let go of them and we can’t shelter them.
Right now I am letting go of something and I am so scared to let go. I don’t know where this will lead. When letting go of something that means the world to you, it hurts very very bad because we don’t want too. But if we don’t let them go, to spread their wings and fly. It can only be a bad thing down the road for all parties involved. People need their space to grow as a person. So they can grow in life. Our children need it to grow into the person God has planned for them to be. I know how hard this is, trust me I know. When you let them go they will become stronger in life and they will find their own direction and path way through life to get to the place God has for them.
We try and try to hold on to them as hard and as tight as we can, that might work for a short time, but in the long run they will grow to resent you. How would you feel if they resent you? ….. That is one scenario of what could happen. If that happens then, the thing you love the most is gone and you have lost them forever. Now can you live with that? I can’t. I would want them in my life because God has brought you together for one reason or another.
When you let them go they will know that you love them and you know they have to go. It is very hard because you never know if that person will make it on their own, and/ or if they will ever come back to you. That is just something that you have to do. Just be patient and pray for them, to be safe. Reassure them that you love them and respect their decision. And then let them go. But don’t be angry. Be there when and if they need you. Because we all need some support from friends and our family from time to time. No one is so independent that we can do everything on our own. If we could, we would all be just like Superman. We need to talk to someone when we cant figure out something on our own. It is ok to ask for help, and just let that person know that when ever they need help you will be there for them.
Letting go is hard on both parties. Just remember that the person you are letting go of is trying to find things out and growing as a person and that is a good thing. They are having the same feeling that you are. And they are scared of where it will lead them.
All we can do sit back and let them go and live their lives, and maybe someday you will be back together stronger than before. Maybe you wont be together but you have a friendship that will grow stronger than it ever was before. Because they know that you sacrificed for them to grow and that you respect their decision. That will mean more to them, than if you tried to stop them or stand in their way.
So have a great journey and I will see you on the path way of life.
Its not the destination you are heading for it’s the journey that you are taking.
So cherish the good times.
Have a good evening and thank you for reading.
……The cowboy rides off into the sunset ….

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Hind Sight

When time has passed, things in our lives become clearer. There are situations that arise that we have no control over. A quote comes to mind "hind sight is 20/20. That is very true. After you do something and you think its the right thing to do, and then it backfires and blows up in your face. Someone gets hurt, you loose something special, and then you wallow in your self pity. But its not always something that goes wrong, sometimes its a good decision. Then later down the road you look back and say "wow I made a great choice, way back when". A quote I have been hearing and also using lately is "time will tell". Time will tell if you made a good choice or not. Then once in awhile a decision gets made that you can't keep from being made. when that happens you will have You may not like the decision that was made , but you will have to see how it plays out in the end. Alot of times the decision the choice that was made hurts and is hard to deal with. But time will tell if it was good or a bad choice.

As you look back on these choices and decisions (hind sight) that were made. You can say "OMG" or Oh My God that was the wrong thing to do.
I have done both in my life good and bad choices. I have said "I am glad I did that" and I have said" boy you are a dumb A** Why did I do that. We all have done that and don't say you haven't. Trust me, we all do it. From the ice cream cone we didn't really want to the car we bought and maybe a person we dated.

The choices we make, we have to live with because it's what we wanted at that time and place. Another quote comes to mind now, my ex-wife told me. A 90 year old lady told her one day while at work in the nursing home. "Don't ever regret your choices, live your life with no regret because you made your choice".
I try to live my life that way. When I make a decision I try to think about how I will feel about it down the road. sometimes it works out good. Then sometimes it's not so good. "Ok" it gets really bad. I do regret that choice that I made, but that is human . No one is perfect, no matter how hard we try. There is no perfect car, no perfect food, and no perfect person. Just think how boring that would be if everything was perfect. There would be no reason to improve on anything. No doctors, no gossip( I have been in alot of gossip lately ),and there would be nothing new. Everything is perfect.

When we look back we will say sometimes. If I had that to do again I would do this different. That's good to say, but we can't change the past. If we could change what we did back then. Then everything you know in the present we know would be different. Everything happens for a reason. I would change things in my past, but then I might not be as fortunate as I am now. I may not have the experiences I have had in my life. The people I know and love, I may have never met them. We may have people in our lives that had a negative influence on us, could have helped us down the wrong path. For some reason or another we don't have that person in our lives anymore. That was a good choice,because where would we be now. If they were still in our lives. Prison, be on a street corner begging for change to get our next meal or next drink, or buried 6 feet under ground. That scares me too death to think about that. If we think back ,we all know people like that. On the other side of this if we changed the past. The person or experiences that we cherish the most, may never have never come into our lives. We may not have our jobs, our true friends, the person you fall in love with or Oh yes our children. "Yes " our kids lets not forget them. they drive us crazy, give us so much stress and worry, but we love them unconditionally. how would you feel if your children were never born. That is hard to think about. But it could be possible if you changed the past.

Hind sight will help us in the future to not to make the same bad choices.we have made in the past. The blind date from hell (she has a great personality), the deal we thought we were getting , that took away our life savings, or that person we met in the bar on the business trip, with out our spouse (not everyone does or have done that). It can also help us make good choices too. Like finding help for an addiction, the day you met the love of your life, the day you won the lottery (yee haw dang not this week).

Hind sight can be a good thing and it can be a bad thing. No matter which one it helps you with your choices you have you have not yet made. So in the future and you are looking back at this blog. I hope it had a positive influence on you and you don,t look back and think that was a waste of your time.

So in closing, Thank you for your time
and have a good day.

The cowboy rides off in to the sunset....

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Embrace changes

Howdy Y'all

I want to start by saying there are changes in life that we don't understand and some we do . Some changes we need and some we don't. Some changes are good for us and some are bad for us. We all have changes and we have to accept them no matter how hard it is on us. I have gone through alot of changes in my life, single, married, kids, divorced, and countless other ones. we may not want to accept them but we do. Changes in life happen everyday. when changes come we can embrace them or try to fight them tooth and nail, but they come anyway.

When changes come around and they are hard to accept the only thing we can do is pray to God for help to understand them. we can ask God for guidance to help us cope with them. I have done this alot in the last couple of days and it has really helped me. I asked him to help me deal with the pain that I am going through and it is helping. I prayed to him for guidance down the path I am on to shine a light on it, to help me find my way.

We can be patient and wait to see where these changes lead us , or we can rush them and make things worse in the end. I have learned this over my life to let things happen in there own time, and that is very very hard to do.I have been impatient and tried to rush things and then have them come apart right in front of my eyes.

God has a plan for each and every one of us . I heard this from a very special friend tell me, God brings people in our lives for a reason . We don't know what the reason is but we learn from them. they show us how to love , they show us how to live , they give us our children. Not only do people come into our lives for a reason but changes do too. Some changes are job related, some are relationships, some are anything that we are not even expected. When changes happen at first we may not understand them, or even know why it's happening but they happen without our consent. we don't have to agree with them and some we do agree with. We do have to deal with them and let them run there course, because in the end you will be a better person . you will be a better person because you wait to see where it led you. right now the changes I am going through are ones I have to wait and see where they lead me and I know that being patient will lead me to where I am supposed to be in life. Trust me it is hard very hard to do. It is also very painful , emotional pain( which is worse than physical pain). Emotional pain cripples you in a way that physical pain can't. It will cause you not to eat or eat too much, you can loose you will to do any thing that you know you need too. It can also cause you to think the worst in any situation. You have to fight through all that and realize the change is for the best for everyone and everything involved. That is why you must be patient, because if you push the issue you could loose what special thing you are hoping and praying for.

Thats when God comes in to help he loves us, he tests us, he helps us, and he gives us these changes to make us stronger as a person. God is our light in the dark, he shines the light for us too see. With out his light, his guidance, his hand. We are lost and can miss out on something or someone special. Because we push and we shoved to try for the change to happen in the time we wanted it to. We miss out on the treasure at the end of that change. We don't know what that is but we want it. It is Gods gift to us. for believing in him and trusting in him to help us and to guide us on this journey. Changes are not the end of something it is the beginning of the new chapter in your life. A bigger and a better chapter than the one you were just in. Just think of the last chapter you were in, the people you met, lives you touched, the lives you charged for ever. In that chapter you may have met someone that will be in your heart for as long as you live. you could have helped some one whose life would not be as good as it is now , and you helped that personin some way. If it was a smile, a dollar you gave the man on the corner looking for his next drink, that could have been the dollar that changed his life. That dollar could be all he needed to get back on his feet and stop being down there begging for help. That ther is a change in someones life did you expect it "NO" you didn't.

In closing just embrace changes. Embrace little set backs in you plans. Because Gods plans for you are bigger than you could ever imagine, and are better than yours. Just remember time has a of working things out, but it's not your time it's Gods time. set back be patient and whats meant to happen will happen but only in gods time.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Million Thoughts

Howdy Y'all

I am sitting here with the house to myself with a million things running through my mind. I have a friend with guy problems, my ex wife wont help on the kid weekend problem, my books that I am writing, job, and what ever pops into my head. I know this is life. Yes I know the quote "things happen for a reason" but sometimes its hard to think that way. My last blog "Lost in this world" I feel that way sometimes. I feel I have no direction and sometimes I feel I cant have happiness. I do know that the last 4+ months I have been happier than I have been in years. Yes things do happen for a reason with or without our control. Sometimes we feel loved and sometimes we don't but that is life. A lot of times there is silence in your relationship, maybe you don't have anything to say, and maybe you don't know how to say it. Open communication is a good thing. If its bad news then its out in the open and the 2 of you can work on it. Feelings maybe hurt and someone may get upset, but bringing it out in the open is a start. To start rebuilding you have to talk about the problem.

I have been in relationships in my past that problems were kept locked away, and later down the road it surfaced and things were worse by this time. When problems are kept hidden and locked away they fester up and get worse. then when they do come out they are harder to heal and sometimes never heal and never get worked out. when this happens "stick a fork in it because it's done". The only thing left is the crying. It's been said there is no one worth crying over but I have to differ from that. Because if you can't cry over someone, then I feel you really didn't LOVE that person. Because if you love them you will miss the good times you had and yes they are in the past, but they are also in your memories, dreams and you and them will cross paths someday. It could be at the store, the park, on vacation, or any where. Do you want to see this person and think of all the wrongs that have happened between the 2 of you, or do you want to think of the good times you had together. Sometimes the bad out weighs the good and you can't get past that. Then if you brought the problem out and you tried to work on things all you can say is "I tried".And go on.

Honesty is the best way to be with someone. A lot of times it's hard because you don't want to hurt that person. That is noble of you to think that way to save their feelings, but how does that make you feel. Knowing that you lied to someone that you care about or even love. That too will kill a relationship in the long run. Now that you lied to this person and they know you are hurt and they are upset, hurt, and confused. That could be a bad thing because the trust is gone now and where does that leave you? Nowhere but feeling terrible because you lied, lost their trust, and hurt someone very bad. But you are the only one to blame because you lied. Not telling someone what the problem is when they ask whats wrong is also lying to them. If there is a problem and they ask then set down and discuss it and see if you can compromise on the solution to fix it.

Now here is something that I hear about all the time. It happens in most of the "chick flix" someone from the past comes back into ones life. That sometimes can create a problem if the person that you are in a relationship with doesn't find out about the contact. If its an old friend is one thing, but if it's an old flame or a person you had a crush on. A problem could arise and the match needs to be extinguished before a huge fire starts. that could make things heated at home. If this happens it could be disastrous to a relationship if all parties involved are not on the same page. The person you are in the relationship with may need reassuring that you love them and that you do show signs of you loving them. Take it from me some of us have experienced this before in past relationships and know the signs of it.

1) is your partner being distant
2) being secretive when you walk into the room or hanging up when you walk in the room
3) being very defensive (that is a sign of feeling guilty)
4) when you ask a question about that person they either hesitate or answer abruptly before the question is finished
5) do they keep bring up things that they and the other person have in common

These are a few signs, but don't just go by these there are other possibilities that can lead to some of actions. Another way is to learn their facial expressions a look can answer more questions before you ask them. These are not scientific signs they are just things that I have learned over the years.

In a relationship it takes blood, sweat,and tears to make it work as long as you 2 share that together. If you two work together it then it is all worth it because you are building a life together. Because if the 2 of you decided to get into a relationship then you both saw something that each of you needed and wanted. You both care or cared about each other to give the relationship a chance to blossom and grow. Then the next step is you get engaged, it could be soon after you 2 start the relationship or it could be years into it. Either way you loved this person enough to say that you want to marry them. If you get engaged early people say it's too soon. If you Wait for years then they tell you it,s about time. it's your choice to get engaged because you both wanted it at the same time. Then is the wedding you can hurry to get married or you can wait, that to is your choice and no one else can make that decision but you and the person you said you would marry. when you finally decide on the wedding date then you will hear from people why did you make it that day. So no matter what you do people will criticise what you do. So don't listen to other people about your choices, you made them and thats what you wanted when you did it. After you made your choice, dont second guess what you decided when you hear someone critcise your decision. Because they don't know your feelings, or your heart. And don't be afraid to voice your opinion back to them because they voiced their opinion to you. When you do this don't spare their feelings remember they didn't spare yours when they criticised you.
Just remember this the Wedding is 1 day out of your life and the marriage is 1 day to be shared for the rest of your life. EVERYDAY to be shared with the 1 you fell in love with.

So have a good evening
This was just some of the million things running through my head tonight, if it helps I am happy I could help, if it didn't help I am sorry I couldn't help.
This does not pertain to anyone i general it was just my thoughts

Till next time
As the Cowboy rides off into the sunset
Good Night Y'all

Monday, August 17, 2009

Lost in this world

Lost in this world
Written: Cowboy 8/17/09

In this world we hunt for direction
In this world we hunt for happiness
We are lost in this world with no direction
We are lost in this world with no happiness
When we search for direction with no avail
When we search for happiness with no avail
Our lives we are lost with no direction
Our lives we are lost with no happiness
The more we search for direction the less we find
The more we search for happiness the less we find
Sometimes we fail in our search for direction
Sometimes we fail in our search for happiness
Times we feel there is no direction
Times we feel there is no happiness
Our lives have direction, we don’t always know the way we are going
Our lives have happiness, we don’t know why we are this way
When we have direction we find the happiness
When we have happiness we find the direction
Sometimes we drop to our knees and pray for directions
Sometimes we drop to our knees and pray for happiness
By this time we feel all has been lost
We feel we are at the end of our rope
Before you get to this point you need to remember
The lord has been with you the entire journey
You were just to blind to see the direction
You were just to blind to see the happiness
In the lord we find direction
In the lord we find happiness
Open you heart
Open your eyes
The lord will show you direction
The lord will show you happiness
So believe in him and you will find them both