Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Million Thoughts

Howdy Y'all

I am sitting here with the house to myself with a million things running through my mind. I have a friend with guy problems, my ex wife wont help on the kid weekend problem, my books that I am writing, job, and what ever pops into my head. I know this is life. Yes I know the quote "things happen for a reason" but sometimes its hard to think that way. My last blog "Lost in this world" I feel that way sometimes. I feel I have no direction and sometimes I feel I cant have happiness. I do know that the last 4+ months I have been happier than I have been in years. Yes things do happen for a reason with or without our control. Sometimes we feel loved and sometimes we don't but that is life. A lot of times there is silence in your relationship, maybe you don't have anything to say, and maybe you don't know how to say it. Open communication is a good thing. If its bad news then its out in the open and the 2 of you can work on it. Feelings maybe hurt and someone may get upset, but bringing it out in the open is a start. To start rebuilding you have to talk about the problem.

I have been in relationships in my past that problems were kept locked away, and later down the road it surfaced and things were worse by this time. When problems are kept hidden and locked away they fester up and get worse. then when they do come out they are harder to heal and sometimes never heal and never get worked out. when this happens "stick a fork in it because it's done". The only thing left is the crying. It's been said there is no one worth crying over but I have to differ from that. Because if you can't cry over someone, then I feel you really didn't LOVE that person. Because if you love them you will miss the good times you had and yes they are in the past, but they are also in your memories, dreams and you and them will cross paths someday. It could be at the store, the park, on vacation, or any where. Do you want to see this person and think of all the wrongs that have happened between the 2 of you, or do you want to think of the good times you had together. Sometimes the bad out weighs the good and you can't get past that. Then if you brought the problem out and you tried to work on things all you can say is "I tried".And go on.

Honesty is the best way to be with someone. A lot of times it's hard because you don't want to hurt that person. That is noble of you to think that way to save their feelings, but how does that make you feel. Knowing that you lied to someone that you care about or even love. That too will kill a relationship in the long run. Now that you lied to this person and they know you are hurt and they are upset, hurt, and confused. That could be a bad thing because the trust is gone now and where does that leave you? Nowhere but feeling terrible because you lied, lost their trust, and hurt someone very bad. But you are the only one to blame because you lied. Not telling someone what the problem is when they ask whats wrong is also lying to them. If there is a problem and they ask then set down and discuss it and see if you can compromise on the solution to fix it.

Now here is something that I hear about all the time. It happens in most of the "chick flix" someone from the past comes back into ones life. That sometimes can create a problem if the person that you are in a relationship with doesn't find out about the contact. If its an old friend is one thing, but if it's an old flame or a person you had a crush on. A problem could arise and the match needs to be extinguished before a huge fire starts. that could make things heated at home. If this happens it could be disastrous to a relationship if all parties involved are not on the same page. The person you are in the relationship with may need reassuring that you love them and that you do show signs of you loving them. Take it from me some of us have experienced this before in past relationships and know the signs of it.

1) is your partner being distant
2) being secretive when you walk into the room or hanging up when you walk in the room
3) being very defensive (that is a sign of feeling guilty)
4) when you ask a question about that person they either hesitate or answer abruptly before the question is finished
5) do they keep bring up things that they and the other person have in common

These are a few signs, but don't just go by these there are other possibilities that can lead to some of actions. Another way is to learn their facial expressions a look can answer more questions before you ask them. These are not scientific signs they are just things that I have learned over the years.

In a relationship it takes blood, sweat,and tears to make it work as long as you 2 share that together. If you two work together it then it is all worth it because you are building a life together. Because if the 2 of you decided to get into a relationship then you both saw something that each of you needed and wanted. You both care or cared about each other to give the relationship a chance to blossom and grow. Then the next step is you get engaged, it could be soon after you 2 start the relationship or it could be years into it. Either way you loved this person enough to say that you want to marry them. If you get engaged early people say it's too soon. If you Wait for years then they tell you it,s about time. it's your choice to get engaged because you both wanted it at the same time. Then is the wedding you can hurry to get married or you can wait, that to is your choice and no one else can make that decision but you and the person you said you would marry. when you finally decide on the wedding date then you will hear from people why did you make it that day. So no matter what you do people will criticise what you do. So don't listen to other people about your choices, you made them and thats what you wanted when you did it. After you made your choice, dont second guess what you decided when you hear someone critcise your decision. Because they don't know your feelings, or your heart. And don't be afraid to voice your opinion back to them because they voiced their opinion to you. When you do this don't spare their feelings remember they didn't spare yours when they criticised you.
Just remember this the Wedding is 1 day out of your life and the marriage is 1 day to be shared for the rest of your life. EVERYDAY to be shared with the 1 you fell in love with.

So have a good evening
This was just some of the million things running through my head tonight, if it helps I am happy I could help, if it didn't help I am sorry I couldn't help.
This does not pertain to anyone i general it was just my thoughts

Till next time
As the Cowboy rides off into the sunset
Good Night Y'all

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