Saturday, May 9, 2009

Bed Hogs

Howdy Y'all

Have you ever slept with someone and by the morning you only have about 10% of the bed and they are taking up the other 90% of it. Those people are called "BED HOGS". Bed hogs are very hard to sleep with no matter how hard you try. Sometimes you can get used to it but why should we. why should we have to surrender our sleeping space and comfort for someone else. Isn't our sleep worth it, to them I guess not. I think our sleep is just as important as their sleep is to them don't you think?

Kids are as bad or worse than adults most of the time. I have 2 boys and they are bad. In the middle of the night you hear a little voice come out of the dark. Can I sleep with you, I'm scared or I had a bad dream. As a parent we say yes come on and you slide over enough for them to climb in. Little do you know that little bit you move over is just the start of a long night of a slow drift across your big comfy bed. By morning you are hugging to the edge of the bed, completely on the other side from where you started.

I have done this more than once since I became a dad, with the same result every single time. Even though I know this is gonna happen I let them in every time. It all starts so sweet and innocent. Shortly after they are back a sleep the slow migration starts to the other side of your sleeping world. They snuggle up to you so nice tho keep warm and secure. a little while later you have an elbow in your ribs, so you move to get comfortable again. Then you have you have a little arm around your neck,and you wake up because you feel like you are being choked. you get them back in line and back to sleep you go. All of a sudden you feel what you think is a baseball bat being pushed into your back. So you slide over, roll back over to find a little knee being driven into your spine. So you slide over a little bit more. Now you are back asleep and have a nice dream going, and then all heck breaks loose, it feels like you are getting beat up in a fight and you can't do anything to stop it. So you jump and you are awake again for the 4th or 5th time in the last 3 hours. By this time you realize that you aren't in a fight, but you are getting the crap beat out you. But its not a big thug in a dark alley, its you sweet loving child. He or she is having a bad dream and throwing punches in the dark, and striking vital points on your your body. So again you are awake and you slide over once more. You get them calmed back down and settled back to sleep. Finally you doze off, the next thing you feel like Chuck Norris just kicked you in the mouth. "Awake again". Your sweet child just slammed their heel right into your mouth. You set up in bed and check for bleeding, good no blood this time. You wonder how they got their heel up to your head to hit you in the mouth. You lean over to kiss them before you go back to sleep. then you notice that its not their face your kissing their feet. You are back to sleep again and then you get the feeling that you are being pushed and hanging off a cliff. When you wake up you are careening face first off the bed and crashing into the floor. About the timeyou get off the floor and lay back in bed. The time your haed hits the pillow,you pull the blankets back up, and you start to relax again. Then you hear a loud beeping in your ears, damn its your alarm its time to get up and get ready for work.

It was another wonderful night sleep (lol)
Just remember that they are your kids and you love them so don't be mad at them. because you let them in your bed.

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